i picked a flower (and left it on the table)

i don't think they are together.
they always come in separately and sit with the rest of their group.
and i wonder (maybe a bit hopefully) if there's a slight family resemblance between the two.

and i kind of felt something
when he leaned at the counter and teased me a little
while i made his peppermint hot chocolate.

but then one week later
(tuesday afternoon, like usual)
my glance finds them from across the room.

i see her thin hand lift up to rest on his opposite shoulder
in some familiar and gentle way.

and the quietly chaotic, always moving and talking boy is silent,
as his head drops to the reserved, pretty girl.

i stand behind the counter drying coffee mugs.

lots of people have dark blond hair after all (it doesn't mean they're family)

and i turn my gaze back to the front windows.
( and i wonder ///
w h y   i   e v e n   w o n d e r  )



  1. my heart cracked. i heard it. and it's warm in my chest, like i'm bleeding inside.
    i know this - from two sides, i think.
    and that's why it hurts so much.
    love always. xx

    1. you are here and I am here and yes. YES.
      thank you Adelaide

  2. what. and all of the sudden the earth is quiet and still and i can hear the heartbeat of the birds.
    and these words run across the sky and tell me that it's exactly what i was thinking.
    why do i even wonder.

    p.s. these photos = my happy heart laughing with goodness over them

    1. what. and yes.
      thank you. you really amaze me Cally.
      we will continue to wonder. because how can we not, really
      congrats on your new space :)

  3. Wowwie, I love this. It's so pretty. :) And the painted wood?! Did you do that? So cool!

    1. a branch was cut off the apricot tree and suddenly there I was. found myself outside with an idea and some paints. it was an uneven cut so that became a cliff.
      and I feel good about it and thank you for the compliment but really I think the idea came from pinterest long ago :)

  4. Oh my this was too beautiful and real.

  5. i am entirely convinced that you are one of the most talented human beings on this planet.

    1. hey hey wow slow down there
      but also wow
      thank u
      this brought tears to my eyes the first time I saw it and I returned a few times throughout the day to read it again, certain I had dreamed a nice comment like this.
      thank you Grace

  6. oh ho my gosh.
    I was suddenly in your shoes, feeling everything you felt in that moment.

    1. HAN somehow you always just, idk, get it.

  7. This is lovely. I love how you manage to focus on the details of one or two incidents. <3

    1. oh my goodness gracious. thank you Jo!!!

  8. basically, i just felt so emotionally attached to this writing. AHHH. seriously, it is people like you that inspire me to keep writing. But it's like you went into my brain and put all my messy thoughts into a neat and beautiful sounding story.
    I just followed your blog because it's so beautiful and you are so so talented!

    1. basically when I got this comment I read it a few times over to make sure it was real.
      hellow (like yellow! pass it on! new fad i'm trying to start hehe) and welcome!
      thank you for being here, it means a lot.