(both of us)
away from something so dark, we seemed to stumble upon the best and hardest blessing I never asked for.
I am learning something that I have always known in my mind (but living it can be more difficult).
sometimes the blessings I am most thankful for do not look much like blessings at all- and they sure don't feel like a blessing either.
but waking up this morning
and yesterday
and the day before
I felt that familiar patter in my chest.
and strain.
and weight.
of good things that feel unknown right now,
and of freedom.
catch me at 8:54AM googling "how to let go of the feeling of pain when it has because part of one's soul" while in the middle of my morning shift.
how does one tell themselves that 'it will all be okay' when they know that, it's just NOT going to be. because this is life, and there's always something woven into my heart and there's always a trace of dirt under my fingernails and there will always be calluses
